When Diagnosis Meets TikTok: Helping Your Teen Navigate the World of Self-Diagnosis

It’s 9:30pm. You’re just getting ready to wind down for the night  and your teen drops into conversation: “Mum, I think I have ADHD.” Or Autism. Or another neurodevelopmental condition. Perhaps they’ve even collected a few possible labels. For many parents, this can feel overwhelming, and it’s hard to know what to say next.

If this has happened to you — you are not alone. We are seeing a significant rise in self-diagnosis among children and young people, and it’s not surprising. They’re growing up in an era of open conversations about mental health and neurodiversity. This is, in many ways, a wonderful cultural shift. The reduction of stigma around diagnoses is supporting more young people to seek help and understand themselves.

But it’s also complex — and as a parent, it can feel like navigating a minefield. So let’s unpack what’s going on, and how we can support our children thoughtfully through it.

Why Are So Many Young People Self-Diagnosing?

Social media platforms like TikTok and Instagram have made it incredibly easy for teens to access content about mental health and neurodiversity. Some of this content is excellent — inclusive, normalising, empowering. But much of it is partial, inaccurate, or misleading. In fact, researchers have found that around half of the ADHD, Autism and Tourette’s content on TikTok is not scientifically accurate.

This matters, because the way the algorithm works means that once your child interacts with this kind of content, they’re likely to be shown more of it — creating what we call an “echo chamber.” Over time, this can heavily influence how a young person comes to understand their thoughts, feelings, and behaviours.

Add to this the normal ups and downs of adolescence — the messy bedroom, the fidgeting in class, the social awkwardness — and you can begin to see how a teenager might start to wonder: Is this more than just being a teenager? Do I have ADHD? Am I Autistic?

Sometimes, they may be right. But sometimes, what they’re experiencing might be better explained by anxiety, trauma, or just the normal ups and downs of growing up.

The Adolescent Brain and the Pull of Belonging

In Happy Families, I talk about how adolescence is a time of deep psychological and neurological transformation. During this period, young people become acutely tuned in to their peer group. Their brains are hard-wired to seek acceptance and connection with others — particularly those who seem to understand them.

So it makes sense that social media can become a lifeline. Many young people who eventually receive a formal diagnosis of ADHD or Autism tell me that finding an online community of people “like them” was the first time they didn’t feel so alone. That feeling — of being seen and understood — is powerful.

Adolescence is also a time of identity development. Teenagers are trying on different roles, working out who they are. Social media can offer a space to explore identity — but it can also create confusion. Some influencers glamorise or romanticise certain diagnoses, which can distort how a young person sees themselves and others.

In some cases, young people may become so attached to a label they’ve identified with that they resist other explanations for their difficulties. This can make it hard to access appropriate support or to consider other strategies that might help — especially if the label itself becomes central to their sense of self.

What This Means for Parents

By the time a child or teenager comes to you with a self-diagnosis, they’ve likely consumed a lot of content. They may feel confident they understand themselves better than anyone else — including you. As a parent, this can feel intimidating, even scary. You may be worried about “saying the wrong thing” or challenging them too directly.

Here are some ways to support your child with compassion and curiosity:

1. Stay Calm and Curious Rather than jumping to conclusions — either dismissing their self-diagnosis or assuming it must be true — ask open questions. “What have you seen that made you think that?” or “What parts of that content resonated with you?” This helps your child feel heard and allows you to understand their internal world better.

2. Acknowledge Their Feelings Whatever the label, underneath it is often a feeling — of struggling, of not fitting in, of needing to make sense of themselves. Validating that struggle is key: “It sounds like things have felt difficult for you. I’m really glad you told me.”

3. Seek Balance Let them know that understanding ourselves is important, and that professional support can help bring clarity. Framing it as a process of exploration, rather than a “right” or “wrong” label, can help reduce anxiety and black-and-white thinking.

4. Consider Professional Support A formal diagnosis, when appropriate, can be life-changing. I’ve worked with many young people who’ve received a diagnosis in late adolescence and felt it helped them reframe their whole childhood with more self-compassion. However, access to assessment can be difficult — especially in overstretched systems. Explore what support your child can access at school or through local services while you wait.

It’s important to remember: a child does not need a formal diagnosis to receive support through an Education Health and Care Plan (EHCP). But many families understandably feel that without one, their child’s needs might not be taken seriously.

The Positives in All This

While this rise in self-diagnosis presents challenges, it’s also opening up vital conversations. We’re seeing stigma reduced, awareness raised, and young people feeling more empowered to talk about their mental health.

The role of parents here is not to “shut down” these conversations, but to guide them — with warmth, perspective, and trust in your child’s capacity to grow.

And yes, sometimes a teenager gets it wrong. But sometimes they get it right. Either way, we want our young people to feel supported in asking questions, seeking understanding, and building their identity in ways that are informed, thoughtful, and kind.

If you're feeling out of your depth — that’s okay. You’re not alone, and you don’t need to have all the answers. What your child needs most is your connection, your openness, and your belief in them.

Let’s keep the conversation going.

Dr Beth Mosley MBE is a Consultant Clinical Psychologist and author of “Happy Families: How to Protect and Support Your Childs Mental Health”. She has worked with children, young people and families for over 20 years, both in the NHS and independently.